Beauty Is as Beauty Does

Beauty Is as Beauty Does is the second episode of the second season of "Gilligan's Island." It first aired September 23, 1965.

Synopsis
Listening to the Radio, Ginger hears that a rival has won a beauty contest. The Skipper tries buoying her spirits by complimenting her and letting her know that she is more attractive than any other girl he has seen. The Professor then adds Mary Ann is also attractive and Mrs. Howell reminds them that social grace and decorum is just as important as looks. With the three men supporting the girls, it is up to Gilligan to choose a Miss Castaway. Everyone tries to buy or sway his vote, ultimately escalating to sabotaging the girls chances for bragging rights. Mr. Howell pours a puddle of glue which Mary Ann steps into during her soft shoe dance, and Mrs. Howell tries to recite a dramatic poem, but the Professor picks up and blows pepper in her direction resulting in her having a sneezing fit. The Skipper now realizing that the other men have lost their chances for Miss Castaway introduces Ginger. During her singing act, Mr. Howell and the Professor use straws to pelt her with pellets and she runs off the stage. It is now up to Gilligan to decide the winner. However, he realizes he can't choose anyone for fear of offending the others, so he chooses Gladys, a chimpanzee living on the Island as its only native occupant. This still doesn't satisfy the curiosity of the men, who check his notes from the beauty contest which are nothing but tic-tac-toe games.

Message

 * "Sometimes using a technicality can help you avoid make a no-win decision."

Highlights

 * Ginger sings "Let Me Entertain You"
 * Mary Ann losing her bathing suit while swimming in the lagoon

Credits
Main Cast
 * Bob Denver as Gilligan
 * Alan Hale Jr. as The Skipper
 * Jim Backus as Mr. Howell
 * Natalie Schafer as Mrs. Howell
 * Tina Louise as Ginger
 * Dawn Wells as Mary Ann
 * Russell Johnson as The Professor

Guest Cast
 * Janos Prohaska as Gladys

Trivia

 * When the Skipper is coaching Ginger for the contest, an exterior shot of the Supply Hut is used for the exterior of the Girl's Hut.
 * Gilligan has metal utensils when he eats the Castaways dishes; they were probably left over from the S.S. Minnow.
 * When Gilligan is on the path and the Professor trips him, he lands near a cigarette butt in the sand.
 * When Gilligan is counting on his two hands, Mr. Howell can still be seen receding into the background.
 * For their talents, Mary Ann does a soft-shoe dance, Mrs. Howell recites The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere and Ginger sings Let Me Entertain You.
 * This episode gives us a glimpse of the Castaways' record player (which appears to run on electricity). The design of the record player will be changed substantially and given a more primitive look for Season 3.
 * Mr. Howell apparently gets glue on his left hand while sabotaging Mary Ann, but before the Professor catches him at it, he can be seen holding his left hand to his face and there's no glue on his hand.
 * It seems kind of odd that Mr. Howell would know exactly where Mary Ann would step or that Mary Ann would step directly into the glue.
 * In the syndicated episode, a line about the Skipper avoiding the glue is removed which resolves the matter on how the Skipper did not step into the glue when he exited the stage before Mary Ann danced.
 * The tag scene after the beauty contest is often deleted from syndicated versions of the episode.
 * This episode is ranked as the #3 most liked episode, according to E!

Quotes
Skipper - "Ginger, believe me, you look like the Venus de Milo with arms."
 * Ginger - "How do I look?"

Professor - "Mary Ann, the combination of your natural attributes and my scientific approach will prove unbeatable. Look, seaweed shampoo for lustrous hair, crushed blackberries for darkening the lashes, powdered hibiscus for ruby lips and coconut oil for a baby soft skin." Mary Ann - "Just add a little vinegar and I can enter the contest as a Caesar salad."
 * Mary Ann - "Well, Professor, I bet you never thought you'd be coaching a beauty contest."

Mary Ann - "Oh, but Professor, I just want to beat Mrs. Howell and Ginger, not Cassius Clay!"
 * Professor - "Always remember that true beauty is the end result of the inner glow of good health, and isometric exercise provides for the inner play of muscle against muscle to improve the general physique."

Mr. Howell - "But, my dear, you're a Howell, and no one can beat a Howell." Mrs. Howell - "Yes, but does everybody think like a Howell?" Mr. Howell - "Now, wait a minute. Are you or are you not rich enough to be the most beautiful woman wherever you go?" Mrs. Howell - "Oh, Thurston, I'm afraid it's hopeless... Unless of course we can convince Gilligan to vote for me." Mr. Howell - "Wait a second, do you think I'm the kind of man who would try and influence a judge in a fair and square contest?" Mrs. Howell - "Yes, Thurston." Mr. Howell - "You know me pretty well..."
 * Mrs. Howell - "Oh, really, Thurston! This is silly! Who's going to vote for me over those two beautiful young girls?"

Gilligan "If everyone's so happy, why are you mad at each other?"
 * Mary Ann "Gilligan's happiness means more to us that anything else in the world."

Gilligan - "Oh-no, I'm not taking any more of that!"
 * Skipper - "Gilligan, little buddy, I saved the largest lobster for you!"


 * Gilligan - "A friendly little beauty contest? You know what I think... It's about as friendly as World War Two!!"


 * Mr. Howell - "Gilligan, I'm a man of few words. What will it take to get your vote? A yacht? A villa? Controlling interest of the Golden Gate Bridge?"

Mr. Howell - "Oh, now, where would I get glue?" (pats the Professor on the arm, leaving glue on his sleeve) "I mean, heh, something in a forty, (mumbling) you need a new tailor here..."
 * Professor - "Mr. Howell! You put glue on that stage!"

The Skipper - "I already know Ginger!!"
 * Professor - "Will you please wait until I introduce her?"

Mary Ann - "She's prettier than we are?" Mrs. Howell - "And you call yourself an American." Gilligan - "Well, that's just it, Mrs. Howell... We're all Americans except her." Mr. Howell - "What's that got to do with it?" Gilligan - "Well, to enter a beauty contest, you have to be a native, and she's the only one born on the island." Professor - "He's got a point there." Gilligan - "Besides if I picked one of the ladies, I'd get in trouble." Skipper - "Well, he's got a point there too."
 * (Gladys wins Miss Castaway.)